Malaise doesn't go on sandwiches

There's some malaise happening in my world these days, internets. (It sounds like a condiment for moody people, doesn't it? Then that makes me wonder what ennui would taste like, only I realize I don't care...)

ANYway...

I'm re-realizing how much time and energy the business of living life takes. (This became terrifyingly clear to me during radiation for my Boobonic Plague... some days, just managing to brush my teeth and get dressed was a major victory.) It's kind of stunning if you think about it, really. I mean, even on the days I plan to be lazy (yes, I'm just Type-A enough to schedule such things—don't judge!), I still need to eat, which means if my budget doesn't allow delivery that there will be cooking, which equates to dishes to do. Then there's getting the mail, or getting dressed, or a million other things that don't seem like much until you stop and count them. And that's not even taking work and related tasks into account.

Grocery shopping. Scrubbing the toilet. Taking out the trash. (I would say dusting but dust is considered a protective covering at my house so... yeah.) Mail. Laundry. Yard work. These are things that have to get done no matter what state of mind or health one is in. I don't even want to add up how much time that takes the average person, because I already know it's significant.



I'm still recovering from my 8-weekend run at the local Renaissance festival, too. Having no days off for that long throws life into a tailspin like little else (except perhaps adding weekends of workshops to that equation which I no longer do because I'm old and busted lazy wise or something). While I took the rest of Memorial Day week off to rest a few days and catch up on critical chores, I didn't quite achieve the Reclaiming My House status I wished. Though June is technically and affectionately called F-Off June by my fellow performers (as in F-Off and don't plan anything/expect to see me on weekends in June), I managed to end up with plans damn near every weekend. What?!?

(I also ended up with 4 invitations for events on June 30th. Sneaky, youse guys!)

In order to keep myself from getting overwhelmed, I use what my mom calls the do-a-little/sit-a-little method. I have to set small goals or else I will be completely outfroken* and never do anything. (I'm not sure how I turned into that kind of person, but here we are.) This is tougher when you don't have uninterrupted periods of time, though admittedly sometimes deadlines are good for me. (Why yes, I do write for a living; why do you ask?)

There's a lot to managing/navigating life successfully—especially the everyday stuff we take for granted. It takes time and effort. For those of you who strive for something outside of day jobs and home life, I applaud you. I know how hard it is, but continuing to find meaning and strive for inspiration outside the usual channels is a worthy pursuit.

Here's hoping I find my way back there soon.





* A friend and former co-worker shared a story about a non-native English speaking person she knew. He was trying to express how scared he was about something and conjugated the past tense of "freak out" to "outfroken." It's been part of my lexicon ever since. SO much more awesome that "freaked out," innit?